“Look! Look!”

The pint-sized hamster flaps his hands around in front of his friend’s face.

“Oh… get it away… yuk!”

The taller hamster recoils, clamping his nose shut with two fingers.

“Pooh-wee isn’t it Jaxy-baby?”

“Muh, huhb.” Comes Jax’s muffled reply — barely holding back his gag reflex.

“Shall I toss it in the pile with the others?”

The tall rodent jabs his free hand towards the nearby chute in the stone wall.

Before another drop of goop can add itself to the trail on the hardwood floor behind him…

Pico yanks the chute door open. And hurls the squidgy blob in.

Seconds later there is a satisfying… SPLAT!

You read the sign above the chute:

AI EMAIL
SLOP PILE

Jax unclamps his nose, wipes the bead of sweat from his brow and turns to his waist-high companion:

“Just toss it straight in next time, okay?”

“Okay, Jaxy.”

Pico begins fidgeting, looking for the next thing to put his hands on.

“Here, hold this”. Jax hands Pico an open envelope.

“They’ll need one of these.”

“Who?”

“The person who sent you that delightful stinker.”

“Oh yeah.”

Jax reaches for a business card from the stack on his desk:

Chris Milham
AI Email Exterminator

Authentic Human-Written Emails Since 2023

On the back it says:

“Get your free book with tips on keeping AI emails at bay.”

A URL is printed beside it.

Jax twirls the card in his fingers, and stuffs it into the open envelope.

Next, he grabs a sheet from another pile.

Pico pipes up, “Is that the one with lots of people who love Chris’s emails?”

Jax nods, as he glances over the familiar page:

“I honestly like how off-the-wall many of your emails are. Never knowing what, exactly, to expect when I open yours is a fun treat.”

Shelby Dennis
ADHD Business Coach

“When I open my email, I look for your name. And when I open one of your emails I read from the first word to the last.”

Patricia Day
Milk and Honey Family

“I enjoy getting your emails. I read yours and Ben Settle’s and they keep me going.”

Steven Dorsey
Direct Response Copywriter

“I felt like I was going through it with you. Very cool email!”

Lorrie Morgan
A-List Copywriter

“I really enjoy your newsletter. It’s humorous but informative, very engaging! I look forward to it every day.”

Kathy Pinnell
SEO Specialist

“Your advice has been great so far. So I’m sticking with a winner!”

John Meyer
Copywriter

“I’m always happy after reading your emails. I love your positive attitude and great input on the life of freelance writers.”

Barbara Jolly
Strategic Marketing Consultant

“I’ve been impressed with Chris from the beginning. From his newsletter to his business. He’s quite an inspiration to me.”

Lisa Best
Direct Response Copywriter

“He’s a very talented writer & storyteller so you could learn a lot.”

Jennifer Ayling
Website Copywriter

“I’ve come to think of Chris as my email guru.”

Alicia Strickland
Authoress

“Anyone who shoots straight from the hip, has a sense of humour, uses the word ‘rue’, and has a cat is excellent in my book.”

Tali Sarnetzky
Author, Speaker, Coach

You expect Jax to sit back down at his desk, where he was before the sudden interruption.

Instead…

He turns, and takes 4 steps in your direction.

Raises his paw.

And…

Tap! Tap!

You jump.

“Hellooo?” he calls.

He taps again on the camera lens.

“Hi. I can’t see you, but I know you’re there.”

He waves.

You gingerly raise your hand and wave back.

“I know you’re probably feeling a little shy right now, so I won’t drag you through into the scene just yet.”

“But you oughtta know… we’re here to help you just as much as the person who’s getting that letter.”

“It just takes a little old-fashioned know-how to write human-to-human sales emails like Chris does.”

Jax gently nudges the camera so it points to the wall opposite the chute.

You now see the poster plastered on it.

Jax continues, “If you want to write emails that put a smile on your subscribers’ faces, read this.”

“And I’ll see you on the other side.”

He winks. Then steps out the door.

You peer once again at the poster: